Starting Flavor Count: 2,976

This is not a selling my flavors post. This is not even a giving away flavors post. It’s too much of a pain in the ass going to the damn post office. I’m just tossing them. Nobody needs 2,976 flavors. I’m not taking them to the grave with me or leaving them as an inheritance, so they’re all going in the trash eventually.

This post is about which ones get the bin first and why. Just in case one of you might have any interest in that. If it doesn’t interest you, just move along, and I hope you have an awesome day.

I’m just going to start at the top of my spreadsheet ‘o flavors, which I think is mostly sorted by brand first, then mostly alphabetically with some exceptions to make things fit. But it’s been broken a few times and reassembled so there could be some out of order.

I’m playing a game called TRASH or TASK.

#AMORETTI

All of my Amoretti flavors were sent to me by a mixer whose lovely drawings on the bottles are the main reason I have not already tossed them. But like the hot moms at the hotel pool tell me, take a picture it’ll last longer. Picture.

Guarana

PG-based flavor. Only got around to trying it once, at 4%. It was an interesting, unique flavor. Kinda tasted like drinking a mixture of cola and apple juice while chewing pink bubble gum. A little bit tart, citrusy, and kind of spicy at first, but a deep, caramellly sweet flavor with some apple-like fruitiness along with that bubblegum taste and a smooth finish. But, unique and interesting probably isn’t reason enough to keep this on the shelf. Nobody uses this stuff, I don’t know off-hand were to even buy it. TRASH 1

Lychee

VG-based flavor. 4% is not enough for a single flavor, or a week isn’t a long enough steep for it, but I didn’t really want to try it higher or after a longer steep, because even with the light flavor there, there was a savory, almost meaty, hint and an oily mouthfeel. Like lightly floral grapey fruit lightly spritzed with hot dog sweat. It’s possible that steeps out or gets overtaken by a great lychee flavor at a higher concentration but I didn’t have high hope for that and never bothered to mess with it again. TRASH 2

Natural Cloudberry Extract

I can’t remember trying this, and can’t find any record of having tried this VG-based flavor. Do I owe it to the cute little drawing on the bottle to mix some samples and try this? I guess I do. TASK 1

Natural Persimmon Extract

Another VG-based flavor I can’t remember trying, and given that FLV Persimmon smells like the god of all fruits to me but is unbearably harsh on my throat, I’m a little more interested in this TASK 2.

Toasted Coconut Extract

Now this one I did try, it was awful, plastic off note. Maybe I could have gone back and tried it again to see if those steeped out eventually, but who really has time for that? TRASH 3

#BAKER FLAVORS

There are only four ways I know of obtaining Russian-made Baker Flavors. In the US, Vaping Zone has a limited selection of them, rebranded as Gourmet Super Concentrates or SC-Gourmet. There’s a larger selection at Juice Factory in Australia, again sold as Gourmet Super Concentrates. I once found a German (I think?) site that had them and I was able to order some, but the site seems to have disappeared. So, I guess there are just three ways. And the third involves emailing your credit card information to some guy in Russia. Um, I do not recommend that route. Since I’m narrowing the supply of flavors I’ll be using, I want to take ease of re-upping supply into consideration.

Almond

This bottle was sent to me by a friend, love you J-Bird. Not almond, amaretto. It tasted like they studied Disaronno Amaretto to make it. This was frustrating for me because unfortunately I also found it very harsh to the point of being difficult to vape. I tried and steeping it and mixing it with smooth ingredients, it didn’t seem to help. I think I’ll put this in the kitchen and see what a little of it does to my morning coffee. But it’s being evicted from the mixing shelf and that’s close enough to the TRASH 4.

Black Currant

This super funky berry flavor reminded me a lot of WF Saskatoon Berry, the one I’ve nicknamed Butthole Berry. That same kind of clean buthole funkinness, just a little more tart and not quite as pungent. The tartness resembles an underripe blueberry, kind of astringent, rather than a candy-type tarness. But the funkiness reeks of something overripe and the contrast felt weird. It’s a well-rounded, full-bodied flavor and after that sharper tartness on top it’s smooth, juicy, with an almost creamy body. I think you could clone this by mixing HS Blueberry with WF Saskatoon Berry and maybe a little FA White Grape. If you live in Australia where you can easily order this from Juice Factory and you are in need of a real funky black currant, it’s not a bad flavor, but I don’t fit either of those criteria so TRASH 5.

Chocolate Truffle

Probably going to keep this until every last drop is gone. Whether it will get replaced after that is another story.

Three Public Recipes on ATF use this flavor.

Raven

is my own recipe, based on Cardinal by Fear. I just mixed a batch of Cardinal this morning, in fact. Very few folks have tried my recipe, because not only does it use a Baker Flavor, it also uses the OG Holy Holy Grail RY4 by DIY Flavor Shack. That HHG is running out and no longer exists, but I need to mix another batch of Raven before it’s all gone. TASK 3.

When it does run out, I have a couple of options. I could buy some of that Holy RY4 from Flavor Jungle and trying it as a 1:1 replacement. I’m going to have to do that eventually with the original Cardinal anyway, right? But a more intriguing option is found in a note I just found that I made for myself back in May 2020, which reads, “This could be an all FLV recipe with this pre-release Mild Tobacco. Mix that with Smooth Vanilla for the RY4 part, ditch the HS and BF flavors for a little Chocolate Deutsch, add a touch of Butterscotch. Boom.” I miss that guy, the one who wrote “boom” at the end of notes to himself. He was so young and full of life. Anyway, need to try this. Haven’t determined %s to use in this, probably need to sample the original Raven first. Well, the original Raven vape juice recipe. The original Raven was the young lady who helped me out of my virginity in high school. She changed her name to Raven after we broke up, but has since changed it back. What was I saying? Oh yeah, need to try this. Anyone still reading care to suggest the missing concentrations for a mixture of

All FLV

Flavor | % ---|--- Mild Tobacco | ??? Red Burley | 0.75 Kentucky Blend | 0.25 Smooth Vanilla | ??? Milk Chocolate| 0.25 Chocolate Deutsch | ??? Butterscotch| ???

Mixing those together is my TASK 4.

I might not do the tasks in order.

DJ Mills' Campfire Bananas

I thoroughly enjoyed that recipe, and even though I can already feel myself getting burned out on chocolate after those previous two tasks, I’m tempted to mix some for the nostalgia. Then I realized, if I’m going to mix a DJ Mills recipe for auld lang syne, there are even better options. Matter of fact, despite the supply of Holy Vanilla soon to be gone forever, I’m making mixing some Golden Oreo Pudding, my TASK 5, just because I want to.

I changed my mind about being burned out on Chocolate when I saw Chrisdvr1’s

Gs thin mint recipe

I want to try some of that, too, so that’s TASK 6. I just love FLV Creme de Menthe so much. Did you know if you shove the right ratio of Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks and Junior Mints into your facehole at the same time it tastes a lot like Thin Mints? But of course it will never be cold like Thin Mints out of the freezer or the Junior Mints would be too hard and chewy for it to work. Pretty useless information, then.

Cream Charlotte

Picked this up from that German (I think?) site because someone, I don’t know who but I’m pretty sure it was not charles manson, told me to. Never got around to trying it, as best I can recall, and that bottle looks full. I see it being used at 0.5 to 1%, looks like I need to mix some samples. TASK 7

Eis Waffel

I was too intrigued not to buy this and then too scared to try it. I was sure it meant “Ice waffle,” which WTF is that. But after some googling I think maybe it’s supposed to be like a waffle cone for ice cream, or possibly even some kind of wafer snack thing. I dunno. Guess I’ll have to make finally trying it TASK 8.

Mango Mix

It was pretty harsh. It tasted a like a little mango drenched in pineapple-flavored battery acid. Just extremely harsh and acidic, but not like lemon acidic, very distinctly pineapple. Also just a tish floral. Did have a really nice sweet mango finish though. I thought I might see if that harshness steeped out after more than a few days, give it another try. But I swear like half these 2,900+ flavors are mangos that are otherwise pretty good but have something fairly serious wrong with them. TRASH 6

Pure Tarragon

What the fuck am I doing with my life that I own a Tarrgon flavor to make vapes. Seriously. TRASH 7.

Also it wasn’t very good. There’s tarragon in there, but also lots of lemon, and it’s sweet, so it’s like tarragon lemonade, and there’s a hint of anise, so the whole thing is really damn weird, and, on top of that, it’s a little harsh, in the way that got worse the more I vaped, so it was hard to even finish a small sample. Sometimes curiosity gets the better of you and you buy weird shit, but don’t let BF Pure Tarragon be that thing, it is not good.

Vanilla Sponge Cake

1% tastes like some kind of vanilla cake or sweet, dark vanilla-extract heavy bakery, but not specifically sponge cake, and there’s a little sourness to it. It might be some butyric acid but not enough to rise to the level of vomit. It’s more like the sourness of whipped cream that’s set out for too long at too warm of texture, like when you want to act out the whipped cream bikini scene from Varsity Blues (or the Not Another Teen Movie spoof) and it doesn’t all get licked up fast enough. Sour note right on top with what even tastes like whipped cream on top of that sweet, vanilla heavy cake base. It’s not off enough enough to say I wouldn’t use it, but it’s probably not worth the difficulty most people would have of sourcing the stuff.

But even though I think it’s headed for the trash pretty soon, thaDentman created this The Safer Twinkie recipe for me because he liked one of my recipes so much. I never tried it because it took me so long to get Vanilla Sponge Cake that it was too far on the back burner by then. But, I will mix it now. Sorry for the delay Dentman. TASK 9

Wald Meister

Haven’t tried it. Should probably try it and compare it to my other Woodruff flavors. TASK 10

Wodka

Fuck. TASK 11

That’s a bunch of work just to get rid of 7 flavors. I’m sure I’ll have more trash and less task when I get to Bickford, which is next, and then comes Capella, where I will need to make some tough choices.

To be continued, after I at least start on these tasks...

New flavor count: 2,969