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Fuck TFA dragonfruit
submitted over 4 years ago by Foment_lifeWinner: Best Recipe of 2020 - Gruber Grape

Fuck TFA dragonfruit. It is, far and away, the worst kind of flavor. It isn't that it's truly offensive in a mix it's perfectly useful for a fairly particular purpose. 

My gripe lies squarely with this. It isn't dragonfruit. What it is however is the very last piece of bazooka joe in the bucket. You remember when you were a kid and you went to the hardware store to pick something up for a project with Dad? That big bucket of gum they had on the counter? It's the last piece in that bucket. The one that got put there last year and is just now being widdled down to the last few pieces. The stalest piece of gum in a bucket full of stale gum. TFA doesn't even have the decency to give you a shitty comic with it.

Now, maybe that's not what shows up when you mix it with strawberries or when you use it as an emulsifier, but those aren't cases where you're using it as dragonfruit. You're using it to muddle the distinction between the layers in a recipe. That is, in and of itself, a boring reason to introduce a flavor to a mix but it isn't the problem. Honestly though, why just mash all the unique ingredients into one amalgamation without distinction?

What really irks me though, is how it seems to be collectively accepted to just throw the word dragon into your mix's title once you've used the least accurate and least interesting "dragonfruit" flavor. Mother of dragons' milk might sound great as a recipe name, certainly better than "Gum I found under a picnic table at a little league game & milk" but it sure as shit doesn't make it a dragonfruit recipe. Quite frankly, I expect more from you u/ID10-T. It's this blindly accepted lie that using TFA's "put it behind the headboard so I can chew it again tomorrow" bubblegum flavor makes a recipe a "dragonfruit" recipe or that "dragon" is somehow acceptable to use as part of your recipe's title. Why lie? It's fucking strawberries and cream u/Zany1337 not "Dragon milk". You both know you can do better, and we all know you're not the only guilty parties.

^^^^Thank ^^^^you ^^^^for ^^^^both ^^^^being ^^^^good ^^^^sports ^^^^about ^^^^this ^^^^hypocritical ^^^^rant ^^^^about ^^^^recipe ^^^^names ^^^^and ^^^^TFA ^^^^dragonfruit. ^^^^It's ^^^^not ^^^^like ^^^^anyone ^^^^should ^^^^take ^^^^this ^^^^shit ^^^^seriously ^^^^from ^^^^the ^^^^guy ^^^^that ^^^^released ^^^^a ^^^^recipe ^^^^called ^^^^the ^^^^demogorgon

Comments
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14 points
 
by ID10-Tover 4 years agoWinner: Best Recipe of 2019 - Counter Punch

This is the shittiest Shitpost Sunday post yet

4 points
 
by Foment_lifeover 4 years agoWinner: Best Recipe of 2020 - Gruber Grape

I can only endeavor to best myself in a week or two

3 points
 
by Morgan_Druryover 4 years agoCoil Sauce Sommelier

Pass on TFA dragonfruit. I'd rather fuck anime Daenerys Targaryen.

1 points
 
by l33ftyover 4 years ago

15% dragonfruit in the original Aspire Cleito is delicious.

1 points
 
by Creepynewguyinavanover 4 years ago

But I like stale bubblegum.

3 points
 
by Foment_lifeover 4 years agoWinner: Best Recipe of 2020 - Gruber Grape

And that is absolutely your right!

There's certainly some nostalgia value there for me.

1 points
 
by zimmystarover 4 years ago

Yeah, I think its gross. It was fine (slightly) the first week I had it. Eventually, it grew to ruin any recipe you put it in.

1 points
 
by ClashOrCrashmanover 4 years ago

I bought a 120ml because it was cheap. Not the worst mistake, since it was cheap, and it's not toxic waste (I've made mistakes resulting in both of those not being true before!). But it's pretty useless for sure.

1 points
 
by themotheffect36over 4 years ago

I use it in a gum recipe with cactus, raspberry and hibiscus and it's the shit. As a main profile? Hell no. Can agree with this post almost 100%

1 points
 
by EdibleMalfunctionover 4 years agoI found my thrill on Blueberry Hill

So like... 99%?

2 points
 
by themotheffect36over 4 years ago

That's too generous. More like 98.56347289183002874

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