#Gruber Grape

So, in the sort of distant past /u/ID10-T challenged me to try my hand at Goober Grape, or more accurately I'm pretty sure what he said was "Do it, you won't". Either way, I spent a good bit of time working on it, trying to get other folks to try it, sending samples out to friends for feedback, etc. With something approaching Dave's endorsement, I have come to present it to you all here. This is my goober grape.

So, here's my kind of, sort of, early Christmas present to DIY_Ejuice, Gruber Grape.

Brand | Flavor | Percentage ---|---|--- CAP | Concord Grape w/ Stevia | 2.5% INW | Grape(s) | 1.5% TFA | Peanut Butter DX | 5.5% FW | Hazelnut | 1.0% FLV | Beer Nuts | 0.15% WF | Croissant SC | 2.0% FLV | Starch Base | 0.5% FW | Sweetener | 0.5%

Some might say that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, others refuse to acknowledge that. What I believe to be indisputable however, is that Die Hard’s antagonist Hans Gruber planned nearly every detail of his heist perfectly. What detail did Gruber fail to account for? Lunch.

When you’re hungry, you’re distracted, and when you’re distracted you make mistakes. Gruber was no exception. Underestimating John McClane might be something we all chalked up to hubris. Then again, it could just as easily have been that Gruber was trying to expedite things as his stomach protested the long day at Nakatomi Plaza. Gruber needed to pack himself a lunch, and what is the single most American lunch he could have packed to further solidify his claim that he was a hostage and not, in fact, the leader of the criminals who had stormed the plaza? Peanut butter and jelly. That’s right. I submit that the key to preventing the Die Hard franchise from making it past the first installment was little more than a quaint sandwich that could have helped sell Gruber’s claim that he was an american, and further prevented him from making non-trivial mistakes that cost him his escape in the end. This… is that sandwich.

So lets break down the actual recipe, yeah?

Okay, so there are 3 things I was absolutely certain of going into this one: PB DX, Concord Grape w/ Stevia, and INW Grape(s) would be core to success here.

Jam: I was absolutely certain from the minute that I tasted CAP Concord Grape that the Concord grape and Grape(s) would be enough to sell grape jam authentically. A light touch of FW Sweetener really helps push the sugary sweet jam aspect and separate it from the other two elements.

Peanut Butter: TFA's Peanut Butter DX is still, in my opinion, the gold standard for Peanut Butter flavors, and in this case it needed a little help from FW Hazelnut to help it remain present, and FLV Beer nuts to add a touch of salt and to help it stand up separately from the jam and bread.

Bread: Plain ass white bread, this should be simple, right? This was honestly where I struggled more than anything else. I came to the conclusion that WF Croissant would be too dry and flakey on its own, a little too authentic to an actual croissant. So I needed to make it a little chewier, a little gummy. FLV Starch base brings the croissant back down from its high horse and turns it into a much more authentic bread rather than pastry.

I'm calling for a 7 day steep, but I can't say I feel it needs the extra time, if you're impatient it's good right off the shake but it should fully come into its own in the course of a week.