My first recipe post in this most righteous subreddit, “Strawbarry Manilow”, was received with positive responses; sincerely, I thank you all! I, however, made the usual mistake of shooting my mouth off by mentioning that I've created a special vape recipe I enjoy while watching my next door neighbor doing a Yoga workout through her front living-room window. My voyeuristic proclivities are an untrue rumor, by the way, and I'll have you know she's married so I will harbor no thoughts of attempted infidelity on my part even IF her Downward Dog position makes my loins go Upward Dog. The rumors are not true. But I do have this tasty vape recipe to share so onto more innocent, and less litigious, matters.

If you like a bold and hearty cinnamon horchata vape, this one's for you. Your taste buds will tremble in spicy orgasmic joy as you exclaim, “My God, SlackerDan, this is a delicious vape, thank you! By the way, don't you think you could lose a few pounds there by doing some laps around the block, fat-ass? Hot Yoga Wife will never be attracted to YOU!” Yes, I'm TRYING, OKAY? Do you have any idea how hard it is to jog while vaping? (I like to pretend I'm a steam train – choo, choo! All aboard the Morbidly Obese Express!)

This recipe goes wonderfully with a nice hot cup of coffee!

Bavarian Cream (TFA) 2.00 %

Cinnamon Danish Swirl (CAP) 1.50 %

Horchata Smooth (TFA) 5.00 %

Jamaican Rum (TFA) 1.75 %

Sweet Cream (TFA) 2.00 %

Toasted Marshmallow (TFA) 1.50 %

Vanilla Cupcake (TFA) 3.00 %

Steep: Give it three days or so for the cream flavors to blend with the cinnamon.

TFA Bavarian Cream & TFA Sweet Cream: The two base cream notes here. We're all familiar with the versatility of Bavarian Cream, and I've added 2% of TFA Sweet Cream to give an extra smooth background for the zesty cinnamon top notes. Speaking of which, remember the band 'Cream'? In the White Room, with black curtains, at the station whah whah whah whah, whah whah waaaa waa... Clapton, man. Clapton.

TFA Horchata Smooth & CAP Cinnamon Danish Swirl: At first glance that looks like a helluva lot of cinnamon, but I find they blend very well. TFA Horchata Smooth isn't the fireball that TFA Horchata can be, so I'm using it at 5% here. CAP's Cinnamon Danish Swirl imparts another cinnamon aspect to the vape, giving the main notes a definite boost of a big thick cinnamon stick full of cream having relations with your mouth. If you find the cinnamon flavor a bit too strong in this recipe, feel free to lower the amount of Horchata Smooth. But if you do, I guess you're the kind of person who plays 'Duke Nukem' on Easy mode, aincha? AINCHA?

TFA Toasted Marshmallow & TFA Vanilla Cupcake: Adds the vanilla foundation note to the cream flavors, and smoooooothes out the cinnamon blend. These are two wonderful vanilla flavors, making me want to toast a cupcake on a stick over a bonfire next time I go camping. This may sound like a weird thing to do in the woods, but believe me, I've done much stranger things in dark forbidden forests in the night. Ever get drunk, dress up in a Bigfoot costume, and grab innocent campers after sundown? I have and I'm not even joking here. I really need to re-examine my life's goals.

TFA Jamaican Rum: The final “deep” flavor that blends the whole thing together. I've been tempted to go a bit stronger with TFA's Jamaican Rum but it's a tricky flavoring that if overused will dominate the whole recipe. And I'd rather the next door Hot Yoga Wife dominate me, because deep down inside I'm a naughty submissive cheerleader in need of a firm, firm spanking.

I sincerely hope everyone enjoys this recipe! Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I'd love to hear from anyone who mixes this blend! Well, gotta go to stare out my window and, uh, monitor the neighborhood. Yeah, that's it. God, I'm lonely.