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LOL that's only a theory
Funnels, most dollar stores carry them in the kitchen section or try an automotive supply store, oil funnels are made in some pretty handy shapes. Get a smaller more manageable bottle (500ml - 1L) and just transfer it in. Pro tip, get a funnel that has a larger hole in it so you don't have to wait too long for the thick VG to work its way down.
I too got the 2.5 gallon jug. My first night I didn't have clean funnels(all have motor oil on them) and just rigged a spoon to help me pour it into a smaller container. I got a funnel now and it's much better.
Glass laboratory funnel if you want to go the full "clean-room" approach. I wouldn't guess that funnels designed for motor oil are food-safe.
I kinda feel the same way