Sup cucks.
I recently partook in a mixing competition with someone who will remain nameless, but if you know me, and you know the history of my trolling on the DIYorDIE Discord, and the certain individual whomst I had triggered by being my typical self (you know, the walking, human embodiment of garbage), you already have an idea what's going on.
Anyway, for this competition, I went really fucking weird with it, and somehow ended up with something halfway decent. Wayne recently said in a live stream something about some mixers coming out with more "pretentious" recipes. While I don't necessarily think that is the correct wording, I will definitely agree with the notion that mixers who have been doing this for a while are starting to release really odd profiles. For me, this has just been because I've grown tired of the same old bullshit. Y'all just constantly dropping strawberry creams, mixed fruit, ice creams, ya know, that fuck shit.
Anyway, long story short, this recipe is strange. The restriction on the competition was simply to create the best recipe possible while only using five concentrates. So with that being said, this is what I came up with, and I may or may not revisit this and try to build it up more and utilize more concentrates in order to create something more enjoyable. But, knowing myself, I probably wont.
As always, flavour notes and all that shit after the cut.
Grilled Stick - ATF Link
- CAP Golden Pineapple at 2.25%
- TPA Pineapple at 2%
- TPA Toasted Marshmallow at 1.75%
- TPA Kentucky Bourbon at 1%
- FLV Red Burley at 0.5%
- FOR THE LOVE OF SCIENCE, LET THIS STEEP FOR AT LEAST 5 DAYS
Notes
TPA Pineapple / CAP Golden Pineapple - This is not my go to pairing for a pineapple base, but that heavy handed use of CAP Golden Pineapple gives us a nice and sweet pineapple note to play with. I know there is an aversion to TPA Pineapple within this community, but other options just didn't hold up to the other flavours. CAP provides the best pineapple note to suggest the fully cooked fruit, while the TPA is here to bolster that tart bite when mixed with these other concentrates.
TPA Toasted Marshmallow - one of the best concentrates when trying to achieve a baked or cooked fruit note. At 1.75%, we achieve that caramelized note needed in a profile such as this. Furthermore, this helps round out the offensive edges seen when using TPA Pineapple. To it's detriment, it does add a bit of creaminess to the mix, but that added mouthfeel is quite nice for this mix. This does cause the profile to stray away from the "authenticity," but I believe it is a success for the overall flavour.
TPA Kentucky Bourbon - simply here to add a touch of warmth to the recipe. The added woodsy, earthy, and oak notes just play into that grilled profile even more.
FLV Red Burley - a fucking tobacco in a grilled pineapple recipe? Yes. While Red Burley adds a little extra sweetness to the mix, it gives a touch of nuttiness that plays really well into the suggestion of this being cooked fruit. Finally, anything that adds some earthy snap to a recipe titled as a grilled pineapple is just pushing this closer and closer to being a true success. A weird idea that seemed to work out quite nicely. I count that as a win, if only for my personal notes.
Steep Time - DO NOT VAPE THIS ON A SHAKE. It's trash. Mix it and let it sit for 5 days at least. After that, the sickly sweet notes from all the concentrates calms down and we're left with something actually vapeable. The Red Burley blends into the mix quite nicely to not taste too much like a tobacco, while the Kentucky Bourbon melds away to leave just a hint of warmth and dark, woody notes to compliment the Burley. This is not, nor ever will be, an all day vape. But if you're lookin for something weird and strange, give it a shot. It's not a perfect grilled pineapple, but the idea is there. My boy /u/ID10-T said it's less of a grilled pineapple, and more akin to licking the skewer that once had some pineapple grilled on it, and then had some marshmallows toasted on it after. I dunno if that helps make you want to mix it.
Alright, give it a go I guess. Or don't. Probably don't, you'll probably regret mixing it.
Get fucked, idiots.
I don't regret mixing it. I vaped every last drop of 30ml of this stuff and enjoyed it quite a bit. The competition's stuff was given away to a juice beggar with a TFV8 and questionable tastes in pretty much everything.
I don't regret calling it a "grilled stick," either. The thing is, I'm afraid that makes it sound bad, when it wasn't. Imagine chewing on a wooden skewer after if was first used to grill pineapples, then used to toast marshmallows. That pineapple would really tenderize that stick with its enzymes and saturate it with pineapple yumminess. Marshmallows toasted and then discarded would leave that skewer with a good bit of toasty, gooey sweet delicious residue. I'd chew pineapple marshmallow sticks every day if I could. That 4 out 5 stars instead of 5/5 is 100% punishment for initially calling it a grilled pineapple and coming up, in my opinion, short in accuracy. Has nothing to do with it not being taste-tastic.
Link to judging of the aforementioned head-to-head mix-off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU0yP7oVZB4 . It has been mentioned that I look pissed off in that video. I wasn't, you're just looking at the combination of a wicked bout of insomnia and the male equivalent of resting bitch face. Resting dick face?
Anyway, agreed, "pretentious" was poor word choice. Pretentious: "attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed." How about unconventional, eccentric, or my favorite, just plain "weird?" How about "playful?" What if mixers who have been doing this for a while are starting to release really odd profiles because they are playing. They are having fun. That's almost the opposite of pretentious. They are not taking themselves, or their craft, too seriously. Because if you do that, it's no fun anymore. And if it's not fun anymore, why bother? Life is too nasty, brutish, and short to not have a little fun. Thanks for the fun grilled stick recipe.
Yeah after Graham told me to vape it after the almost week steep made me realize that I had stumbled onto something interesting. And that last paragraph is explained perfectly. Most of us "old-timers" have been doing the same shit for years now, these weird, off the wall recipes are just fun. Anyone who knows me knows I don't take any of this shit seriously anymore. It's just fun to see what kinda nonsense we can turn into a vape.
cough pickle juice cough
Exactly. And as you've discovered, Pickle Juice is straight up a novelty vape. The best use of that stuff is probably something like Pickle-Rickrolling other mixers. But other weird nonsense recipes are some of my all-time favorites. I hope we see more of those. Mind-blowing accuracy in a vape is absolutely something to celebrate, like with your Sadlad Toast Crunches and your Golden Oreo Puddings. But not every recipe needs to be a high-res photograph of a beverage or candy, a facsimile of food, or a perfect parroting of grandpa's pipe. My olfactory is thirsty for more abstract art. Let's have some more Grack Juices, some more Coop's Kiwi Bourbons. Another Fiestas & Fiascos. A next-generation Mother of Dragons' Milk, if you'll forgive me listing my own recipe among those greats. I'll take 100 Grilled Sticks over another strawberry & cream or cookie & cream.
If you feel like another challenge...
I thought the trend to the oddball (as epitomized by Pickle Rick) was more just experimentation, a way to see if something could be done, without stopping to worry about whether it should be or not.
Should I try the Pickle Rick recipe?
Is it organic and range free?
Considering this week's FotW competition, I was rather expecting some Red Oak (and maybe Black Fire?) in this recipe.
Actually, a grilled pineapple vape sounds intriguing...
Having tried it, I think adding some FA Black Fire and a little of something with a dark sweetness like brown sugar, was well as backing way off the Toasted Marshmallow, would go a long way in getting closer to what an actual grilled pineapple tastes like.
FOTW's not a competition, man. It's archived in the wiki because it's meant to be a resource. It's also supposed to be kinda fun, at least for flavor nerds.
Ah, I figured it was mostly a bunch of people trying to come up with bragging rights. My bad.
And yeah, I have found the FotW a great learning tool. And a black hole of "Damn, I need to get that flavor now. And that one. And..."