Whats good, you fucking dorks?

It's me again, coming at you with another crucial post for your Monday afternoon enjoyment. Today, Vurve and I decided to hit you with a somewhat complex concept that really isn't that difficult to achieve, a god damn milkshake. Some big-dick-swinging, all-American deliciousness. Fuck with it.

So, if you're not a fucking coward and have actually had a milkshake once in your life, you know what the deal is. But hey, maybe you're like me and are lactose-intolerant and can't fuck with milkshakes on the regular (I still refuse to be a coward, I just suffer through the pain for that sweet nectar). But to put it simply, you want some thick, creamy, sweet goodness. Usually achieved with an insane amount of ice cream, milk, and other shit for flavour.

So for today, I've come up with a simple milkshake base for you. Now before you jump down my throat with some bullshit like, "Hey idiot, this isn't really an accurate milkshake" or "fuck you, dicknose, there is so much more needed for a good milkshake vape," just shut your mouth. Modest Mondays and Beginner Blending are for the beginners. Those who aren't as familiar with a thousand different flavours to get the best possible option. So this is for you, beginners, get you a nice base for a milkshake and add whatever weird shit you kids add these days.

Milkshake Base

• TFA Vanilla Bean Ice Cream at 3.5%
• TFA Cheesecake Graham Crust at 2.5%
• FA Vienna Cream at 1.75%
• CAP Vanilla Cupcake at 1%
• Koolada to taste, if desired.

And that's it. The TFA VBIC creates the sweet vanilla punch to the tastebuds with just the right amount of thick mouthfeel to feel like a genuine milkshake. That's what you definitely need. The TFA Cheesecake Graham Crust adds that maltiness that you'd normally get in a milkshake, and thickens the mix up even more. Finally, the FA Vienna Cream and CAP Vanilla Cupcake help blend everything together and prevent any of the previous flavours from getting weird and mucky during the steeping. CAP Vanilla Cupcake is a great addition to ANY recipe that includes TFA VBIC in my opinion, and the FA Vienna Cream just makes everything a little more milky and delicious. You don't need Koolada if you don't like it, but, who the fuck has ever heard of a milkshake that isn't icy cold? It's not a fucking milkshake then, you goddamn maniac.

So with that being said, let me hit you with my recipe for this week, which might not have really hit the mark on what I was going for, but this shit is still delicious and I've been vaping it all fucking day. I wanted to keep it as simple as possible, I don't want 15 flavour recipes in these Modest Monday posts, but I might try diving more into this profile at a later date to really make it perfect. Either way, it's still fucking great as is.

APMFBM (Apple Pie a la Mode in a Fucking Blender, Milkshake [You can just call it "Apple Pie Milkshake," if you're a pussy])

• TFA Vanilla Bean Ice Cream at 3%
• TFA Cheesecake Graham Crust at 2.5%
• FA Vienna Cream at 1.75%
• CAP Vanilla Cupcake at 1%
• FA Apple Pie at 2%
• FA Fuji at 3%
• FA Stark Apple at 1.75%
• FA Liquid Amber at 0.5%
• Koolada at 1.5%

SO this recipe is delicious, but it needs more work on the apple pie element for me to feel proud of it as being a legit apple pie milkshake. But for MM and BB purposes, I'm sure anyone that mixes this up looking for that flavour profile will still be pleased with it. So mix this shit up, mix up your own milkshake ideas with that base recipe, or don't. I don't really give a fuck.

But what I do give a fuck about is that you come through for the Beginner Blending podcast on the InTheMix network, every Monday night at 9:15PM EST. Listen to /u/Vurve and I bullshit through an hour and a half of air time. We'll be talking about this milkshake idea, our milkshake recipes, and a bunch of other shit.

Stay based, you beautiful fucks.